Parenting Tips - EI and Terrific 2s

Parenting is a wonderful journey. It is also one of the biggest learning experiences in life. And while everyone has their own journey, and their own learning curve, it never hurts to draw on from other people's experiences. 

In light of that, we would like to share some parenting tips, based on our own journey and experience, based on various studies, and probably a lot of learning which have been carried through generations before us- instinctive, yet never given a name

1. In today's times of high stress levels and fewer people around kids, being emotionally intelligent is extremely important

What is emotional intelligence?

- Managing your emotions and working your way around them
In the first four years of their lives, maximum brain development takes place, so it is important to get the basics of emotional intelligence in place.
- Each child is different and so is the parenting style
- If your child thinks before reacting- is not impulsive- then you are going in the right direction. If this is taught early, a good foundation is set

What needs to be done

Communication is important- sit and talk about why you did what- extend the same courtesy to your child-give a few minutes of your time each day. Talk about your feelings

- Accept and understand their feelings. Eg, when you see your child misbehaving, ask why he/she is behaving in said manner instead of telling them why it is not acceptable
- Teach your child to be empathetic- they must understand how others are feeling. Children learn more from how you behave and react as a parent than from what you teach them
- Set clear rules and boundaries, but make sure your child feels loved at all times
- Development of EQ is a slow and steady process and results won't be available magically

3. Terrible 2s vs Terrific 2s
It is roughly around 18-30 months of age that your toddler begins to understand that he/she is his/her own person, separate from the parent. The concept of "me" comes to the fore, so he/she is constantly trying to test the limits/boundaries and stretch them all times. 
This is also when they learn to have you dance around their little finger, and we often end up labelling this period as the terrible 2s. But you know what? They can be terrific 2s as well, and we have some tips to help you attain those

- Set clear boundaries- always remember that you are the parent and in control
- Toddlers get frustrated when they are not able to communicate effectively with you- after all language development is still happening. This often manifests in what appears to be temper tantrums. Try to put yourself in their shoes, you will understand better
- Tantrums are also attention seeking behaviour. We seldom acknowledge good behaviour, but are quick to point out the so called negative one. Your effort should be to reverse the cycle- appreciate good behviour, and in a matter of fact manner point out and explain what you do not appreciate- without getting angry, and ignoring the repeat act. Of course, there are always exceptions to this rule, parents too are human
- Be consistent in your approach- what is wrong is always wrong- it may seem cute at 18 months, but you may feel very differently when your four year old does the same thing. 
- Your toddler does not understand logic- so being logical is pointless. Sometimes a simple story may do the trick. More often, it will help to distract the little one when they are being particularly difficult- point out of the window, make a funny face, show a picture, get a toy etc. It does not help for you to also lose your cool in such a situation
- Do not ask questions- 
for example
Why did you write on the wall? X
Seems like you are writing on the wall again. Where is the paper I gave you? ✓
- Say no, but with an explanation. Be positive
- Set the right example. You cannot eat junk food yourself and expect your 3 year old to eat healthy
- Appreciate and encourage at all times. Positive reinforcement works wonders. Give them stars and smileys when they are doing something right. While social distancing is the norm now, it is ok to sometimes give them a hug.
- Reverse psychology works
- Be funny- change a word in their favourite story, make faces..
- Teach them the difference between good and bad, but do not punish. Children learn more from how you behave 
- Accept your child for what he/she is, whether you like it or not. Each child is unique
- Most of a young parent's energy is spent on monitoring what your child is eating. So long as normal development is happening, and you have a healthy toddler, everything is fine. Keep exposing the child to healthy foods, enjoy and eat with them, chances are he/she will soon figure it out and start experimenting. Too much pressure will put off the child and frustrate you too. This is a slow process and be prepared to be patient


Enjoy this journey with your baby, let the 2s be absolutely terrific. Remember, time only moves forward, never backwards. Some day, you should be able to look back upon this time with a lot of happy memories...